A LITTLE ON MARRIAGE

Marriage is one subject I have not written on and this isn't because I can't.

I must admit that there are too many 'fake' people both in real life and in ‘cyberspace,’ there are also many 'experts' on relationship and marriage matters with sufficient material already in circulation to last a lifetime.

One thing I wouldn't do is write simply for the sake of writing or present myself or my marriage as flawless or a standard for anyone to look up to. This isn't to say that one's marriage/relationship cannot serve to inspire other people; this however should be the decision of the observer.

There is no 'one size fits all' about marriage, love and other allied matters so be careful to learn as much as possible from several reliable sources and adapt as much as is realistically possible to augment yours.

Entering into love based relationships requires a lot of preparation, working on oneself to input values such as contentment, patience and sacrifice. It also entails getting rid of or immobilizing negative vices which end up straining relationships. This period of preparation depends on what is lacking and it really is a continuous process as adjustments still get to be made even when the relationship has commenced.

It is like a prospective examination one obtains past questions for. The contents of such questions don't get into one's brain by diffusion or osmosis. It's not by just glancing at the pages and assuming you have it all figured out without any practice. It doesn't work like that every day.

Marriage is always about tests and examinations. It's not really about one's background, it's largely about attitude. If you tolerate negative ideas, you'd most likely ruin even a union 'made in heaven.' It's a lot of work that even longevity in the game doesn't exempt one from.

I'm glad I'm married and this isn't because it's the right thing to say on Facebook or on social media. I'd prefer to talk about relationships with flesh and blood than post long essays on ideal relationships whilst hoping that people will read and glean one or two things.

We have our parents as sources to learn from irrespective of whether they were there or not, or whether our homes were broken or flawless. We have relatives, neighbors, in-laws and even celebrities to learn from (i.e. for those who like the glamour they see on television). There is no source that one can't pick up something valuable from. Marriage is experienced in real life.

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Today marks seven years that I hurled my entire family to Ilorin to sign my marriage certificate with my beautiful wife and it seems like the years have flown by so quickly. She's inspired me and made me a much better person. I am grateful for everything that's happened, no regrets whatsoever.

I hope and pray that all seeking this 'obstacle course' will find good people and those experiencing stormy seas at the moment will get to experience peace.

My genes have conspired to mask the effects of being married but I assure that even though I don't have the kilos to prove it, my mind is at peace and my heart beats appropriately. Try it!!!

I look forward to our 70th year anniversary Funmilayo 😁😁😁 if time permits. Thank you for enduring all my ‘wahala.’

I love you and thank you for all the good in your heart. My boys also deserve a mention too.


Posted on Facebook 1st May 2017 
https://www.facebook.com/vladamir.oleejidenko/posts/10155373579197033