The Ondo maze

Ondo may just be Tinubu's best ever play or it may just be exactly as the media and the rumor mill have reported it; a tale of manipulation, desperation and betrayal. 

If the former is the case and Aketi wins, then BAT should get an Oscar for the best screenplay considering the fact that the same Aketi who he practically selected and openly backed came in third at the polls four years ago,  an evidence of the Ondo people revolting against imposition by the Bourdillon 'colonialist' perhaps. 

Although there is still talk about Akeredolu's unpopularity,  there are also muted celebrations and unrestrained cheers at the seemingly triumph over Tinubu's crusade to claim the entire Southwest. Aketi appears to be the poster grandpa for that revolt and should benefit to a reasonable extent from daring to deglove the hands that once fed him. 

I understand that the Iroko tree has been uprooting and replanting himself from Akure to Abuja and back to Akure. What is he really going about for?  Is there going to be something major happening to him when he leaves office like a bounty on his head? Was he at Aso Rock to simply brief the president on the elections or was he negotiating a buy out clause? 

I see the alliance for democracy candidate Mr Oke as a good man.  His demeanor appears not cut out for the 'roforofo' that is the Nigerian political space but i think he could be a good governor.  Olu Agunloye,  a former minister of power and someone i used to think looked like Wole Soyinka is also in the arena for the SDP but i think his lack of affiliation with the mainstream Naija politics like we've known it will count against him.  Jimoh Ibrahim is one interesting fellow,  he tried his best to deliver his best Trump impression at the debate yesterday and it made for really good laugh. 

Jimoh said he'd stop personal income taxation and security votes. The most amazing of all was that he would raise minimum wage in Ondo to N75,000 just like it's done in all his companies.  He boasted about the fleet of fuel stations he has in Ondo state alone and one wonders if the pump attendants there actually earn 75 grand a month. How did the PDP get themselves into this mitotic phase in the first place? 

The people may have been swayed by his rhetoric and may jolly well troop out to vote for him en masse; in this age of BREXIT and Trump, it will be folly to rule him out. 

Politics at the end of the day is still politics; no permanent allies and foes. Tinubu didn't support president Buhari until APC happened and Fayose at one point actively campaigned for Fayemi and he will do even more to escape what awaits him when his tenure ends and immunity vaporizes. If Aketi wins, Tinubu will probably be with him to celebrate so do not be surprised. At the end,  what Nigerians should ensure is good governance and accountability from these men and women entrusted with public office and not lining up on the street during working hours to collect small pieces of cake and N100 for coke on someone's birthday. 

Perhaps the Ondo resistance will finally fall come this weekend,  who knows?

The Naked Masquerade

You see there are these guys you encounter in real life and in cyberspace who many revere and perceive as highly cerebral. They are the chief custodian of contemporary knowledge and detectors of intellectual dishonesty; they are also good at amalgamating words together just to sound very convincing.

From time to time, people like myself try to engage these individuals who have their thrones on world class stages in what ought to be intelligent exchanges but more often than not, these exchanges degenerate into assembly sessions for their numerous fans to derive some entertainment and also to offer their adoration to the chief masquerade.

How exactly does the masquerade succeed in providing entertainment for his/her teeming fans? Let me tell you what they do. They highlight any portion of the short or lengthy discourse, excise it and utilize it to propagate whatever narrative they deem fit. Let me give you an example.

Let us assume I was interacting with someone about Donald Trump and stated that " the Donald will be a very good president of the association of reality show hosts. " The highly cerebral fellow would then excise "the Donald will be a very good president..." and use it as bait to attract his/her ant-like back slappers to start off an orgy characterized by unprintable insults and mockery directed at me the source of the now mutilated comment and hero worship for the god. Those who take the bait largely consist of pseudointellectuals most of whom have suffered from diverse complexes all or almost all of their lives and only seek acceptance in 'Cyberia. ' The others are largely innocent but manipulated.

One thing I have observed about these champions is that they never concede even in the face of superior argument and readily turn around to accuse whoever opposes them of pettiness even when it's apparent to all and sundry who the petty person is. As far as masquerades are concerned, they are a superior breed with alien 👽 abilities beyond the comprehension of the numerous minions who they must imagine the others are. Even a minion in front of a convex mirror will appear to itself larger than he truly is.

We are humans because we are not machines or cyborgs. It doesn't matter how much artificial intelligence is depicted on television and in the movies, humans are still humans and retain the ability to make decisions as long as humans have the capacity to do so especially religious ones. Masquerades are usually intolerant but this flaw is not perceptible to them.

There are those who will do, say or post anything on social media just to get applause and pump more air into their sinuses. They succeed in getting endorsement from their numerous admirers and assume that their peers are lost in the jubilant crowd when they are in fact standing afar and wondering why the much revered masquerade who is desperate to be king is out in the market square dancing naked to the beat of jesters.

"We are nothing but pencil ✏.... "

Trump won Bigly!!!

The 'yugest' reality TV 📺 show known to mankind commences in January and it's not going to be on Netflix.

I'm awfully disappointed for all those who genuinely thought a Hillary presidency was a done deal since Donald J Trump did not clearly possess the requisite experience and temperament to have been qualified to run in the first place.  I cannot imagine how shattered Hillary must be for failing to make history as the first woman to be elected US president; it's safe to say this is it for her political career now.

I won't say I was convinced Trump would defeat Clinton at the polls but I knew he had a realistic shot considering that he trumped all others to clinch the Republican Party ticket in the first instance despite adopting numerous unconventional and largely unpalatable tactics.  Most of the polls didn't give him much hope but somehow the man was convinced he would win.  The scandals, failure to disclose his taxes and many other regrettable comments and gaffes didn't seem to affect him one bit. The energy the 70 years old grandfather exhibited during the campaign is nothing short of remarkable; he's achieved something worthy of applause irrespective of how he did it and whether one likes him or not.

I understand the "he's a racist, chauvinist and misogynist" angle; he played on these fault lines and got many of his diehard fans to buy into his narrative on political matters and Hillary.  I have read on social media where supporters of the defeated Clinton have highlighted these issues as the reason why America voted as the outcome suggested.  The fact is that Donald Trump also got votes from Blacks,  Latinos and women of all colors; it shows to me that they were other issues considered in choosing a candidate other than endemic racism but I may be very wrong.

Some people who thought Trump had no chance also thought Hillary would win in a landslide. This however did not happen as the president elect had good showings even in states which certain polls had suggested Clinton would win. I wonder if these occurrences was more of a revolt by the electorate or due to some genius tactics by the Trump campaign considering that he ran without having the backing of certain key figures of the Republican Party.

Will Trump be a good president? Commonsense suggests No considering his lack of experience on political and military matters.  It is not clear if his private sector credentials will help him in this regard but who knows what tomorrow holds?  He may just 'con' Americans and the world and be the greatest of all time. I wonder what America will have to endure when the first family get the keys to the White House; I doubt if the building can contain all the baggage Trump and his children will take along with them.

Some people had already published the obituary of the Republican Party suggesting that Michelle Obama, Chelsea Clinton and the Obama daughters were all in line to become POTUS in the coming years but who knows,  one of them may just be that in a few years to come. I think those Republican leaders who didn't rally behind Trump and/or publicly endorsed Hillary are done especially the older ones; the younger ones may just have a mountain to climb to become relevant again on a national scale.  The Democrats on the other hand have to present fresh options which should include Tim Kaine.

Am I upset Trump won? I am kind of indifferent and cannot claim to be as concerned as those who have America in their fabric.  If indeed Trump becomes a warmonger like many fear he would become,  then I will be really anxious.  At the moment,  I think that most of his campaign rhetoric was just to get him elected and the dust he raised will soon settle.  I don't know if it is apt to compare his promise of a 'yuge' wall to Obama's plan to shut down Guantanamo bay.

I think I should begin work on a plan to run for president of the Federal republic of Nigeria;  if Trump can trump America, what's the 'small' matter of Nigeria? Nigerians in America,  biko don't check out o. Andrew is now old there and needs company.  If you think you should flee back home,  remember there are plenty Nigerians here at home who wouldn't mind to take up your forfeited spots over there whether Trump is good or not.

I must say a yuge congratulations to the POTUS elect,  the Donald J Trump.  He triumphed against all odds and will get into the forthcoming edition of the encyclopedia after Barry Obama.

Americans it is not doom and gloom yet, you should only begin to get worried when one of the Kardashians or Kanye decides to run for the office of POTUS.