I have just returned from the Lagos international airport where I witnessed one of the most absurd symptoms of national insanity I have ever seen in my life.
I had to drive up the road to the departure lounge so that my wife could disembark and then I spun around quickly to the distant parking area since the new car park is still under intense construction. Unlike my last visit on the first of February, I did not have to walk this time as there was an airport shuttle waiting. I was immediately impressed when I noticed that the bus looked very new and just ahead of us were two other buses apparently working just a few meetings apart. I wondered for a second why it took these airport managers so long to deploy the buses which had been left parked for so long to relieve passengers and visitors of the enormous stress of reaching and leaving the airport.
A few minutes later and I was back at the entrance into departure. Then the Federal airport authority man and a bomb squad cop demanded that all luggage should be passed through the scanner at the door. I wondered to myself when this development began although I remembered seeing these same scanners lying fallow only 15 days ago. The traveler just ahead of us seemed to have a crew of young people with her but she was only permitted one individual to accompany her in.
My wife displayed her travel documents and walked through. As I made my approach, the skinny FAAN official stretched his hand to stop me and said "only passengers" which was echoed by the cop who had a metal detector in its case strapped to his waist. I was stunned; I said "but I'm with her" yet they insisted on only passengers. I asked them when such a policy was passed into law and why I would not be allowed to help my wife with her luggage and see her off.
The cop asked me if I didn't know the situation in Nigeria and went on to narrate an incident where a young lady strapped on herself an IED and detonated same in a packed motor park. I stretched my hands out to him and asked why he didn't use his metal detector to check if I was strapped with an IED but they asked me and a few others who were also trying to gain entrance to move back and away from the doors.
My wife at this point was also trying to persuade them to allow me accompany her for her check in procedures but it fell on deaf ears. I remained standing before them and more than once exclaimed loudly "what kind of country is this" and I told them that there was no where in the world where such was done; where a spouse or relative was barred from venturing into a departure zone prior to check in.
Our exchanges were interrupted by airport officials waltzing through the doors with people familiar to them; one even passed through with a Caucasian and the clowns did not say a word. A young man standing behind me and somewhat sympathetic to my cause asked that I begged them to let me pass or maybe find a blessing to appease them; to this I replied "God forbid". At one point two men clad like Niger delta politicians with their Jonathan-esque Black hats walked through like angels without displaying any documents and they were even saluted by the men.
Oh my, "these guys must be mad" I thought to myself. We must have been there longer than 20minutes when a man who was probably a relative of a passenger tried to go in with another man. They stopped him and insisted that only one despite his pleas. The first man went through while the second stayed backed. I confronted them again and made a reference to what had just transpired. I told them they were unfair to let a passenger with more than one relative or friend have one go through while another with only a relative; a spouse for that matter was prevented. At this point, a second FAAN official with Omirin on his name tag and who had been seated just behind the door spoke for the first time and asked that I be let through. He must have been bored by my reluctance to play ball with them and my stand against a ridiculous action devoid of common sense. Mr Omirin did not fail to mention that my passage through was not based on what I had said about the other people who had been let in while our impasse was ongoing.
I walked through the doors despite a late attempt by the other FAAN man and the cop to overrule Mr Omirin. The cop had probably proposed in his heart to show me who was boss even if it would require force. Check in went on as usual and my eyes gazed from the policeman to the NDLEA officials checking luggage before passing them through and into the plane. It seems the check in tables are the only points we would ever find smiling para-military officers just because they are expecting a blessing from the travelers. I left the airport and a shuttle was waiting back to the parking area. Everything else was uneventful.
I am more than even convinced that insanity prevails in this nation. Many people just appear normal but the truth is that in one way or the other, we are governed by abnormalities and have surrendered our rights to primordial instincts which are completely incompatible with normal human existence. This is the reason why some people will readily suggest that it is ideal to bribe one's way through any issue even if it is to use one's own property. It is no longer difficult to explain why some people find it impossible to decipher the folly inherent in the logic of the goat and tubers of yam to justify stealing which in our case has nothing to do with corruption. Why is it just impossible for some people to believe that it is absolutely possible to live content lives without stealing or demanding for bribes? Why can't the NDLEA and customs guys at the airport just simply do their jobs without an open bag under their table for manna from heaven? Must the immigration official checking passports raise one eyelash because he sees a passenger travelling to Lome or can the policemen on our roads and security men just stop using the phrase "happy weekend Sir".
I would not want to talk about the incredible civil service or the many other peculiar cases of frank insanity that plagues the people like a virus. Such that has made supposedly sensible young people sell their souls because of transient monetary inducement. The same folks turn common sense on its head and fabricate falsehood to smear the innocent; Oh what madness!!!
This is simply not sustainable; like Yaba left, this house of commotion called Nigeria needs urgent rehabilitation.
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