And I don't know their names.

And I don't know their names.

I went to the market with my wife this morning; my first market outing for about 3 months now.  I usually volunteer to go to the market to buy foodstuff because I believe I'm a better, faster and more charming haggler than my wife is thanks to the many years of  understudying one of the best through the many markets of Lagos mainland and Island; my mother.

Our first point of call was my "customer" and regular stew ingredient seller.  I have bought fresh tomatoes, pepper and onions  from only her stand in that market for about 3 years now at least.  She had not seen me for a while and she was able to recognise that; she enquired about my welfare as usual and we embarked on our transaction with the regular understanding and speed.

It occurred to me that I have never for once asked about her name. I understand that the progress of her business is paramount on her mind but I am sure that many people have such interactions with their market "customers" that goes just beyond the regular eye service or seriousness that many of us wear to such locations. 

How is it possible to smile, chat and sometimes joke with someone whose name I do not know for more than 3 years? I thought about this and then remembered how I patronised a certain young lady's store at Bodija market when I was an undergraduate student of the university of Ibadan. For almost 7 years, I bought food stuff there and cannot recollect if I ever heard her name.  The truth is that  peradventure I see the young lady from Ibadan now or in 10years time in a random location, I would absolutely recognise her.  I don't know if to call this kind of marketplace interactions a friendship but I think it could be something close to that at least.

We meet people daily, our backgrounds may affect the way we interact with them but it is still our individual responsibility to leave a good and appropriate impression at these moments. I remember being in the lecture theatre as a freshman waiting for a chemistry class when a classmate talked down with utter disdain on another  calling him a wretch because he didn't have good clothes and shoes on. Some of our current "friends" who know our names may not even be concerned when we are away for extended periods; a market trader who likewise does not know my name is able to welcome me back and wish me well.  We can actually establish bonds across race, tribe, religion or social class.  Some of the people we have looked down upon in the past are no longer on the same spot and may as well have exceeded us. 

We may never have the time or chance to ask each other's names but we can treat ourselves right and with respect like proper human beings should.

Perhaps I need to work really hard on this frailty with respect to asking for and recollecting names later on.

Joa

22/11/14