Even though some people thought I was a good student from
primary to tertiary levels, it was normal for me to approach a new class or
phase with trepidation. I'm not one to deceive myself when I'm by myself. I was
always aware of and respected those with academic prowess at every point in
time and I think what gave me palpitations was losing respect.
The initial uncertainties would quickly dissipate; I'd
eventually make progress and wonder if I alone had these struggles. English
language was one subject I struggled with at a certain time in my life.
Junior school English language was fairly easy in my opinion
largely because the curriculum involved literary texts along the way which I
found easier to cope with. I'm not a fan of examinations with multiple choice
answers, essays and other forms of writing are what I consider my strengths.
Preparing for the English language examinations in the last year of Junior
secondary school during my time involved reading three works of literature: The
Drummer boy, The Lion and the Jewel and Time Changes Yesterday; all written by
Nigerian authors. There was also a book on poetry we had to master as well.
I wasn't in any way fazed by these books, I was confident that I
would be able to answer any question set from them. It was the same feeling
with the Yoruba language texts we had to study which were Abé Àbò, Jé n lògbà
tèmi and Kúyè. That English examination was passed with a distinction but in
the first term of senior secondary school, I realised I was in for a major
struggle.
English language had become separated from literature so there
were no Lambtales from Shakespeare, Koku Baboni or Kwesi Brew poems to buffer
my English grades. I don't know I managed to get in distinction zone during
that first year but what I know is that I didn't understand in-depth, most of
what was taught. There were definitely more than 20 individuals out of 52 who
did better than I did during the three terms that first year.
Mrs Ediale became our English teacher in SS2N; I don't know if
seating closer to the front of the class than in the previous year helped but
all I know is that I always felt like the only student in the room when she
taught the class. I moved from my previous bottom half position to top 5 in the
class. My scores improved but beyond that, my understanding improved markedly
because the language was no longer abstract.
I took this breakthrough into the final year and came in contact
with another female teacher Miss Otrofanowei. She was very good and I also
connected with her teaching methods. Things were good between us until one day
she asked me to see her after the class. She asked me a vague question about
what I did wrong which may have upset another teacher. I did nothing wrong and
it was later I realised one of the chemistry teachers who doubled as the
dormitory house master must have said a thing or two to other teachers about
collected house dues money which was stolen after unknown classmates broke into
my wardrobe. I informed Mr Uka about this development and he ensured I paid for
it out of my own pocket. Why he went on to speak ill about me is still a
mystery. My episode with the chemistry teacher didn't end there, there was a
major bust up weeks later which ended before the vice principal and stardom for
me. That is a story for another day.
It was clear the English teacher took what she heard to heart
and it was clear to me that I was relegated in her mind. This didn't bother me
at all, I loved English language and her classes were always fun. It wasn't
economics class where I didn't take down any notes for a whole school session
in protest. We sat the mock examinations at the end of the second term in
preparation for the grand finale during the next term. Miss Otrofanowei had
worked her gowns off to ensure we did well and exceed what her counterparts did
in the other classes. I performed very well and then she met with the class to
review our performances.
She talked about those she expected to do well and those she had
little hope for. She confidently said those who she expected to do well were
guaranteed top distinctions in the main examination. She then moved on to talk
about people like me who was 8th in the mock examination. I was just glad to
have done well and my praise was that I was one of those who suprised her. I
obviously had a wide grin on my face, at least I got a commendation I thought.
It was then Mayowa who was sat to my
left said to me "Olee, that was a yab o... It means she wasn't expecting
much from you." I thought about what MT said and realised it was truth. I
didn't get angry at her, I was more than ever before determined to prove her
wrong.
Fast forward to when the WAEC results were released. The highest
grade in English language for our school was earned by four people. Only one of
the four was taught by Miss Otrofanowei. I remember being at the school to do
the necessary clearance and collection of result. Miss Otrofanowei was walking
towards me and I stopped to greet her and to acknowledge her role in helping me
be one of the four. She barely acknowledged my greeting and didn't even make
eye contact; she just kept her head titled backwards and her nose pointed to
the sky. She rejected her medal because the horses she backed to win the race
didn't bring it home. I watched her as she walked away and I promised myself
never to do likewise to anyone.
There is a lot of good about our people, we have good people
everywhere but who from time to time allow sentiments cripple them. We let
religion, ethnicity and other categorizations to dampen our humanity. We reject
honor due to us because the bearers are unexpected. Let's treat every young one
with dignity instead of using them to transfer our aggression and corruption.
Fight against injustice and don't be a bearer of falsehood. Ensure equality and
equity; don't be the one guilty of negative stereotypes, chauvinism and
hypocrisy.
We have been exposed over the past few years for who we really
are but that is not the end of our stories. Bad students can still become good,
hateful people are not beyond redemption as long as they acknowledge their
failings. Fear and failure is not the end of the road, these events shouldn't
bring out the worst in us but should rather point us to those who are better
than we are so we can be like them or even better eventually. Take the
setbacks, the put-downs and the sticks you have gotten in life to challenge
yourself to change the narrative for the best. Overcome evil with the good in
you.
JOA24042018
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